Friday, May 13, 2011

I Eat Food.

I eat food to stay alive. I herd once that if I were to stop eating food my body would slowly eat itself into oblivion. If I lived in an area with temperatures averaging above sixty degrees Fahrenheit all year round food and water would literally be the only things necessary to stay alive. At that point I would need a loin cloth, a big bear, and a panther as an arch nemesis to complete my life. My entire family always gets together for Thanksgiving and Christmas and it is a tradition for each family unit to bring a dish. I usually opt out of the food making and bring a bottle of fine spirits for everyone to enjoy. The tradition I feel the strongest connection to is cooking and eating dinner with my girlfriend. It is something we do together almost everyday and always gives us a chance to relax and send some quality time together. Other then that I always cook my meals because it tastes a million times better than fast food. Eating fresh foods which are not saturated in salts and fats will guarantee good health throughout my life. I highly suggest that everyone hops on that bandwagon before it is to late because honestly if the apocalypse is real I am eating you first. Oh and at family functions we play a game where you put money in shoe box and layer the entire box with duck tape. This way it is very hard to get into bahahahahahaha. Gather a pair of sweats, a sweater, big socks, a hat, and mittens and place them next to the box. Then you sit in a circle and role a set of dice. When someone gets doubles you jump to your feet put on the mittens and attempt to get on all the other garments before someone else roles doubles. Once you have everything on you can then attempt to rip open the box and claim your money.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Non-crack-head bus riding is a community.


Non-crack-head bus riders make up a community due to the fact that we ride the bus and have no interest in smoking crack. The fear or a loud and smelly crack heads sitter next to a member holds us together figuratively and literally. All the members of the non-crack-head bus rider’s association require good tunes and adequate noise canceling headphones. Each of us holds value in manners, inside voices, and showering and everyone is interested in getting off the bus as fast as they possibly can. There is no tension within this community because our purpose is absolute. I am a non-crack-head bus rider with good tunes and decent headphones so I fit in quite well with this community. There are two reasons why I wish to be a part of this community. Reason number one is that EVCC offers a $20 unlimited bus pass, which is a damn good deal, and reason two is due to my ability to relax to and from school.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Wallet


My wallet is actually the cardholder insert that came with a Volcom wallet I purchased freshmen year in high school. Every wallet I came across up until that point had far more pockets, slips and picture holders than I could ever find use for. The most exciting thing I came across while sorting the contents of my wallet were two free doughnut coupons to Might O' Doughnuts and my lawyer's card. The doughnut cards are obviously to please my tummy and the lawyer card is to ward off any unpleasant police officers during "routine" traffic stops. Other then that I keep it basic with a Driver's License for age verification, my student ORCA card for commuting, my student ID for the new gym, my BECU debit card for the purchasing of things and my Regence Health Insurance card for all my medical needs. Last but not least is my beautiful Costco card, the card that brings me unlimited joy in the form of monolithic blocks of Tillamook Cheese, Romanian lettuce heads, pasta and sauce, turkey and pastrami and big bags of carrots. I prepare all my meals each and every day and require that they all taste delicious. Being an extremely poor student with an appetite for high quality food forced me to become a professional grocery shopper.  All in all my wallet reflects me perfectly in that I am student at EVCC, I am a practitioner of being practical, I love eating well, I am without a vehicle of my own, I dislike the current state of public protection and I have parents with health insurance. Oh and I love doughnuts...black berry fritters are my favorite.

Trying to determine how someone else would perceive the contents of my wallet is odd. I could choose to make said person bland or give them a wild imagination…maybe a little of both?  Guy #1 will look at the contents of my wallet in whole with a highly paranoid imagination while guy #2 goes card to card with bland logic. First I will share some background information on Guy #1 and Guy #2. Guy #1 loves to dance his fancy feet moves putting you in a trance. Guy #2 is here to chill with you, p-a-r-t-y because we got to. Guy #1 would quickly assume that I am a criminal after coming across my lawyer card and make a quick check into my background. After receiving his intelligence the information on my insurance card would be seen as incorrect and a tad bit fishy. Guy #1 would then reach my Pita King Bakery card and the fate of my identity will be sealed forever as the Pita King Terrorist. I am going to skip guy #2.

An outsider would certainly miss everything I find to be important. My friendships and the ideals I live my life by. How much I love the sun, the rain and the snow but will always wish Washington was 500miles south of its current location. Being outdoors, hiking/backpacking/camping/fishing/climbing and just plain running about. That my favorite TV show is Doctor Who and that Matt Smith is easily the best Doctor yet. That the reason I am going to school is to study chemical engineering so that I may work on propulsion systems for the USAF. Most importantly they would have no idea that I have an orange cat names Duncan.

My Wallet

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